{"id":345,"date":"2017-04-04T00:41:11","date_gmt":"2017-04-04T00:41:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/?p=345"},"modified":"2017-04-04T00:41:11","modified_gmt":"2017-04-04T00:41:11","slug":"sarcastic-sentry-volume-2-4-issue-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/?p=345","title":{"rendered":"Sarcastic Sentry Volume 2.4, Issue 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

It seems that for celebrity women, Donald Trump being elected is some times a\u00a0blessing or blessed curse.<\/span><\/p>\n

Barbara Streisand (yes, she\u2019s still alive and living in a different century than us) claims that Donald Trump being President has caused her to gain weight.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>His tweets utterly force her like a Pavlovian trained dog (snicker here allowed) to gorge herself on maple syrup slathered pancakes.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She simply can\u2019t stop eating because he exists and exists in the White House.<\/span><\/p>\n

But she has a plan.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She\u2019s having her cleaning, cooking, and personal assistant staff all do more workouts in order for her to drop 75-100 pounds by summer.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She isn\u2019t doing the lifting or sweating herself.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Oh no.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Babs, doesn\u2019t do manual anything.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The only increased activity for her is the pace at which her mandibles work downing batter.\u00a0 She’s hoping for a metabolic increase that way<\/span><\/p>\n

\"babs1\"<\/a> \"babs2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

On the other end of the spectrum, the homey and wholly unattractive Lena Dunham claims that the Donald being President is causing her to LOSE weight.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>She does claim though, that the drop in weight has had an adverse impact on her sex life.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>To her, when she was the rotund bitch it was raining men.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Now that she has dropped some of her chins and folds of flesh, men don\u2019t seem to find her as appealing. At 135 pounds, she gets no pole.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But at 190 pounds, men flocked to her sweaty folds.<\/span><\/p>\n

Left unsaid is that the men who find her even remotely attractive are the types who get turned down at speed dating, match.com, even match maker efforts by their overbearing mothers.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>These men seemingly gravitate towards the \u201cJabba the Hut\u201d variety anyway and at 190 she\u2019d both fall for the box of chocolates bait as well as not be able to run from the sprung trap.\u00a0 Hey, Lena!\u00a0 You’re just a complaining bitch.\u00a0 Men, find this unattractive.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"lena1\"<\/a>\"lena2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Common feature to these unwanted twats?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>The blame something utterly unconnected to nor responsible for their plight.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Victimology is a religion to these types.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Leftist ideology is their scripture.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>So vile is Trump to their narrow minded view on the world, and so self absorbed are they in their righteousness that they (again) find something, ANYTHING (preferably a conservative white male) to blame for their own inadequacies, weaknesses, and faults.<\/span><\/p>\n

Who is surprised?<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It seems that for celebrity women, Donald Trump being elected is some times a\u00a0blessing or blessed curse. Barbara Streisand (yes, she\u2019s still alive and living in a different century than us) claims that Donald Trump being President has caused her to gain weight.\u00a0 His tweets utterly force her like a Pavlovian trained dog (snicker here […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/345"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=345"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/345\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":352,"href":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/345\/revisions\/352"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=345"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=345"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writeofcenter.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=345"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}