Sarcastic Sentry Volum 5.5, Issue 2

A Republican Governor, weary that his draconian stay-at-home orders are not being blindly followed, upgraded his arrest first, to shoot-on-sight decree if protestors continued to resist. Additionally, family members of resisters are to be locked up for reeducation. Neighbors of resisters are to be digitally monitored, forced to surrender cell phone records, computer hard drives, website histories, social media passwords and be fitted with a GPS equipped ankle bracelet.

“It is past time to take off the sissy gloves on these rebel cretins. I’ve determined the best course of action for my state’s recovery. Me. It is not up for discussion or a vote. These sheep will follow my orders or pay serious, painful penalties.”

Sounds crazy, right? Well, it is fiction. No Republican would consider that. However, let’s look at a few Democrat examples.

Washington: Governor Jay Inslee ordered that people that go out to a restaurant being tracked by name in a data base.

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2020/may/13/jay-inslee-washington-governor-orders-restaurants-/

People going to dine in must give their name and phone number to be turned out to the government. The data will be kept for 30 days (I’m sure). The purpose is for contact tracing in case of another flare up.

Of course. That’s the only reason. It wouldn’t be to know “who’s naughty and who’s nice.”

Pennsylvania: Governor Tom Wolf threatened to withhold federal COVID-19 aid money to counties that defy his decree and open early.

https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/497189-pennsylvania-governor-threatens-to-withhold-federal-aid-to-counties-that

See, Tom knows better than you do what with his advanced medical degrees in micro virus sciences, that staying at home and being economically stagnant is the best way to stay alive.

“I won’t sit back and watch residents who live in counties under Stay at Home orders get sick because local leaders cannot see the risks of #COVID19 and push to reopen prematurely,” he tweeted.

Local leaders just can’t see the risks of what they are doing. They just don’t see that he is the omnipotent wise one. Just do what he says and please, shut up while doing it.

“Non-compliant counties won’t be eligible for federal stimulus discretionary funds. Instead, those funds will be allocated to counties working to stop the spread of #COVID19,” he continued, adding: “Dine-in restaurants that open in counties that have not been authorized to reopen will risk receiving a citation. These citations can ultimately lead to the loss of a restaurant’s liquor license.”

My friends, the ones who do as I say, will get money. More of it, too, since I’ll give away the money from the counties that disobey me. Oh, and even though you don’t have any money since you’ve been out of work for 60 days, if you disobey me, I will fine you cash that you don’t have. I’ll also take away your liquor license so that if I ever allow you to reopen, you can’t sell booze, the primary money maker in the food and dining business,

Folks, that is extortion. Joe Biden “you’re not getting the billion dollars unless you fire the prosecutor looking into my son” kind of extortion.

Illinois: Governor JB Spitzer announced that when private leisure boating opens back up only two people may be on the boat.

https://www.nwherald.com/2020/04/25/hoping-to-take-the-family-for-a-boat-ride-not-so-fast/an8u0x4/

Regardless of boat size, only two people can be on the boat at a time. So, a family or 4 has to pick. Two can ride, two have to stay on shore and wait their turn. What a great idea. Especially if the husband took the wife out. The two kiddies can wait by themselves on the pier and hope no one does anything to them.

Anchored boats must be ten feet apart. I guess boats are potentially more contagious than people who only have to be six feet apart. Despite the family sheltering in place together they cannot go out on a boat in the open air together.

Tying up two boats along side is also out if you were thinking of trying that in order to get around his two-to-a-boat rule.

Michigan: What more can be said about that bitch?

Meanwhile in Florida, Governor Rick DeSantis is slowly opening up and despite having such a massive elderly population shows no one near the levels of New York as they set about killing 5200 nursery home residents.

The Democrats are loving the increased power they think they have over their herd. They are in no hurry to open up, or set people back to work. That reduces their power over the masses. They also believe the longer they can keep their boot on the throat of the flock, maybe they can convince them that it is all Trump’s fault.