Sarcastic Sentry Volume 2.4, Issue 2

Sorry, Charlie Brown, you can’t say “Nuts” anymore.  Bobby or Suzy will choke.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2019/02/12/peanuts-cracker-jack-banned-minor-league-park-pro-sports-first/2846703002/

Yes, the Great American Past Time, baseball, is now under assault from the Social Justice Warriors (SJW).  The Hartford Connecticut Yard Goats, a Class AA team for the Colorado Rockies has announced the permanent banning of peanuts from their concession stands for sale as well as the spectators arriving to watch games.  It seems those with a peanut allergy have executed a squeeze play to make the vast majority of people without this human immunization flaw yield to their frailty.

Team president Tim Restall says that peanut eaters can still eat peanuts at home.  So that makes it all okay.  Little Bobby make go into anaphylactic shock if he even steps on a peanut shell then touches it.

According to the peanut institute (http://www.peanut-institute.org/eating-well/allergy/quick-facts.asp about 4% of all people have a food allergy of some kind.  OF SOME KIND.  Only about .6 to 1% have an allergy to peanuts.  But the rest of us?  We have to bend to their will.  Some of these parents told Restall that they bring their own cupcakes to birthday parties.  They sit by themselves in school cafeterias.  But his solution is to make all of the other fans of the game do without the “peanuts and cracker jack” that is part of what makes baseball “the game”.

Why not create a small peanut free zone in the park?  I’m sure the whole park is already gun free.  It couldn’t take much to cordon off a section with its own entry and exit, even its own concessionaire to cater to these (based on ratios and percentages) three people.

Do they intend on banning ice cream for the lactose intolerant?  How will they prevent honey bees from entering?  You’ve probably been somewhere that you’ve seen them buzzing around a spilled sugary drink or a trashcan.  That’s the same anaphylactic shock.  What about Muslim sensibilities?  They have an aversion to pork.  What if they smelled one in the grubby infidel hands of the spectator next to them?  Ban hotdogs!  What about those that observe the Shabbat? Are they going to stop playing games on Friday night?  Oh, wait.  Those people are Jews.  They get no special considerations.

I tell you this.  The first time I go to a ball park and can’t buy or eat peanuts, it’ll be my last baseball game ever.

Sarcastic Sentry V2.4, Issue 1

Eventually it becomes my turn.

I said in a recent blog, (Muslim Hypersensitivity), that if you wake up in the morning and set out to find something that you deem offensive, chances are you will find it.  I ran into the Millennial Generation version of that just last night.

My wife and I stopped in at Two22, a local brewery/bar.  We hadn’t been there in quite some time, but they’d recently sent me an email coupon good for a free beer. We stopped in, did the expected “where have you been” stares with the server behind the bar and saddled up by two empty seats.  There was a couple on the right side of the seats, and a female on the left.  Without any surprise I saw that she was flipping threw her phone like some gay French King (exaggerated swiping motions).  I walked up, slid the chair out a little to gain entry, and said my customary ice-breaker line that I’ve used countless times when you invade the empty space they may have been accustomed to seconds before.

“You’re not gonna be a problem, are you?”

It’s a joke.  We’re in a bar.  Sometimes people drink too much in bars.  Then they become overly (anything).  But their response usually gives an indication to their mood and level of intoxication.  I used it just last week and another bar.  They guy, without missing a beat, replied, “Now, or later?”  Very witty.  He got it.  And he wasn’t a problem then or later.

The woman was young, probably in the lower half of her mid-twenties.  She had long, straight brown hair pulled back into a horse tail looking mass.  She was wearing modest clothes, and had on brown framed glasses that dominated what you saw looking at her face.  To pare it down to a single word, I would call her “frumpy”.  Her response was a curt “No”.

We sat down, started sampling small tasters of the beers they’d recently released.  I never gave the girl another thought nor said anything more to her. After a few sips, I noticed she wasn’t there anymore and thought she had left.

Probably 20-30 minutes later, it wasn’t long as I had just finished my first beer; she came up behind us and began asking just what exactly I’d meant by that question (if she was going to be a problem).  I told her it was a joke, that I say it all the time when taking a seat.  She stated that she was offended by it, didn’t see the humor at all in it, and wanted an apology.

I knew I had just run into a Millennial high on the latest popular drug “outrage”.  I looked at her and said, “I’m sorry that you feel that way.”  Clearly not the apology that she was looking for, but also as clear that she wasn’t going to get anything more like one.  I turned my back on her.

Beth kept talking, trying to get the girl to see that she was over reacting to nothing.  Beth mentioned that we are from different generations, to which the girl contradicted saying that we were not.  We’re old enough to be her unfortunate parents, so clearly, we are.  Eventually she stated that “This was an issue.”  I turned back to her and said,

“Yes, and it’s your issue.  Now, move along.”

I looked down the bar and saw the server was talking to another couple at the far end of the bar, by the entry door.  The female of that couple was looking right at me, wide-eyed, and making circular motions by her head with her index finger.  The classic, coo coo for cocoa puffs, bat-shit crazy hand signal.

Frumpy returned to what I learned was her new seat by the other couple and was frantically gesturing in our direction.  The server tried to offer her a free drink coupon but she just patted the bar with her palm and stormed out, no doubt feeling justified in finding something to be outraged about.

Caiti, the server, came down to us.  I asked what was said.  Caiti said that Frumpy had complained about what I said, and also that I had “touched her leg”.  There it is, the #metoo sexual assault ingredient.  Caiti said that she explained to Frumpy that we’d been coming there for 5 years, were both retired military, and meant no offense whatsoever.  That Caiti wasn’t going to do anything like throw us out or anything more severe was why she left.

It was for us, a comical end to an otherwise good evening.  But, just in case.  If you ever happen to read this, Miss Frumpy, you could be so lucky for me to touch your leg either me by myself, or in the company of my wife.  For that matter, the fact that I didn’t touch your leg might be the catalyst for your childish outburst.  It likely isn’t the primary ingredient in your immature psychosis.  That is likely to be “an issue” with your Daddy.  I suggest you seek a counselor in a safe space where you can be reassured in soft cooing voices while you pet a puppy.  Or you could just grow up.  I’m doubting you’ll grow up.

That’s the future of our country, folks.  The offended.  Makes me glad to be almost 60.  I won’t have to watch the utter destruction of our culture and country.

Sarcastic Sentry V1.4, Issue 4

This is the second of a mini series on the Woman of the Socialist Left.

It used to be that you see photos in Playboy.  Girls of the Big Ten or some other college football conference.  But Playboy isn’t the same fine magazine for “articles” anymore.  So, part two:  Kamala Harris.

Recently, The Senator from Mexifornia entered the fray to become the 2020 Democratic presidential nominee.  She joins what will likely be 30 candidates all trying to “out-left” the others.  Harris started this by famously calling for the end of all private insurance.

https://www.cnsnews.com/blog/cnsnewscom-staff/kamala-harris-acknowledges-cnn-she-would-eliminate-private-health-insurance

And yes, I deliberately used a liberal “news” website, CNN, The Current Narrative Network (to borrow from Pat Sajak).

“I actually feel very strongly about this: is that we need to have Medicare for all,” Harris said. “That’s just the bottom line.”

“What we know is that, to live in a civil society, to be true to the ideals and the spirit of who we say we are as a country, we have to appreciate and understand that access to health care is a, should not be thought of as a privilege,” said Harris. “It should be understood to be a right.

CNN’s Jake Tapper followed up with Harris to clarify that her plan would indeed end private health insurance.

“So just to follow up on that, and correct me if I’m wrong, to reiterate, you support the Medicare for all bill, I think,” said Tapper.

“Correct,” said Harris.

“Initially co-sponsored by Senator Bernie Sanders,” said Tapper. “You’re also a co-sponsor onto it. I believe it will totally eliminate private insurance. So for people out there who like their insurance, they don’t get to keep it?”   (Emphasis added.)

“Well, listen,” said Harris, “the idea is that everyone gets access to medical care, and you don’t have to go through the process of going through an insurance company, having them give your approval, going through the paperwork, all of the delay that may require. Who of us has not had that situation, where you’ve got to wait for approval, and the doctor says, well, I don’t know if your insurance company is going to cover this? Let’s eliminate all of that. Let’s move on.” (Emphasis added.)

So, in a few short sentences and in under a minute, she advocated for the elimination of all private health insurance and the government total takeover of 1/6th of the country’s economy.  Bye, Prudential.  Bye Kaiser.

Her office quickly walked that back blabbering something about it being an ultimate goal and that she is willing to her ideas of a blended insurance industry.  The country is quite ready for that takeover.  This week, anyway.

She also had this to say about guns:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/01/29/kamala-harris-gun-control-requires-locked-room-with-autopsy-photographs-those-babies/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.9a8611f0848c

Again a less than conservation website.  I’m not cherry picking sources.

“You can be in favor of the Second Amendment and also understand that there is no reason in a civil society that we have assault weapons around communities that can kill babies and police officers.”

But wait a minute.

http://www.ontheissues.org/social/Kamala_Harris_Abortion.htm

A 100% voting record by NARAL (National Abortion Rights Action League) on being pro-choice (really meaning pro-death) and support for funding of abortion clinics (murder houses).

Harris is pro-killing babies.  So why is she worried about assault weapons killing them?  You’d think, given her record for keeping babies from growing into kids, then prospective Democrat voters, she’d be all in for more guns killing more kids and babies.

Oh, and she isn’t black.  She’s of Indian and Jamaican descent.  And she spread her legs to get ahead in the world.

I give you:  Kamala Harris.

Sarcastic Sentry V1.4, Issue 3

This is the first of a mini series on the Woman of the Socialist Left.

It used to be that you see photos in Playboy.  Girls of the Big Ten or some other college football conference.  But Playboy isn’t the same fine magazine for “articles” anymore.  So, part one:  Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Recently at a public speaking event she was asked about billionaires, and said this:

Cutting right to the point, Coates asked if it’s possible to live in a moral society that includes billionaires.

“No, it’s not,” she responded. “I’m not saying that Bill Gates or Warren Buffet are immoral, but a system that allows billionaires to exist when there are parts of Alabama where people are still getting ringworm because they don’t have access to public health is wrong.”

Okay, first, let’s deal with her view that it is immoral for Billionaires to exist.  To be fair, the speaker asked about morality.  AOC said simply that their existence is “wrong”.  It’s a fine hair to be sure, but she split it.  But even f it is wrong, how does she propose to make it right?  Should we round up all domestic billionaires and corral them into internment camps like the Japanese were?  DO we infect them with ringworm just so they can feel the plight of the poor Alabamian children?

No she proposes a seizure of their wealth.  She wants to tax the wealthy at a rate of 70 or more percent.  In this way she can “just pay” for the free stuff she intends to give to those less affluent.  Yes, more of the take from those who would work, and give to those who would not.  It was Jefferson who said this action would lead to a cessation of the Democracy.  But since AOC is an admitted Socialist, she gives a damn about our democratic republic.  And wouldn’t you know, that our form of government with its embedded rights allows her to espouse these un-American political views, use our political system against use, and sleep under the very blanket of protection she wants to take away from you.

Now, let’s look at the ailment she uses as though it is a fate certain to death.  Ringworm.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ringworm-body/symptoms-causes/syc-20353780

From the cited article:

Also called tinea corporis, ringworm of the body is closely related to athlete’s foot (tinea pedis), jock itch (tinea cruris) and ringworm of the scalp (tinea capitis). Ringworm often spreads by direct skin-to-skin contact with an infected person or animal.

Mild ringworm often responds to antifungal medications that you apply to your skin. For more-severe infections, you may need to take antifungal pills for several weeks.

So, Ringworm isn’t a rare disease, exotic or deadly.  It is similar to fungal infections everyday people get on their feet, and athletes get in their crotch. A ten-second Google search showed no fewer than 4 possible cream applications under $10.  Oh, but Dear Editor, what if it persists for those several weeks?  Another ten-second search revealed a pill, available online (no doctor required so health care can’t be denied) called Valacyclovir.  30-tablets for $18.

Ringworm isn’t hard to contract, either.  It can be spread human to human, animal to human, object to human, even soil to human.  So, no human contact, don’t pet you dog or cat, and stay away from farm animals.  Destroy objects that make be infected.  And for God’s sake (even though she doesn’t believe in God), make sure you don’t walk outside or toil in the garden barefoot.

The woman is an idiot, likely a product of Common Core educating.  But she is entertaining.  It is the embodiment of people getting the government they deserve.  New York?  YOU elected her.

I give you AOC:

Muslim Hypersensitivity

If you wake up in the morning and set out to find something you deem offensive, chances are, you will find it.  Even if it isn’t there.  Case in point:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/8285782/muslims-nike-recall-air-max-trainer-allah/

A Muslim woman started a petition, signed by at least 5100 other people, to demand that Nike stop selling these shoes.  To them and their overly active imaginations and bloated sensitivity, they have managed to “see” the word of their pedophile prophet in the logo on the bottom of the shoe.  Of course, only if you have terrible handwriting in whatever their language is called when written, AND if the writing is upside down for the rest of the English-recognizing and speaking world.

But to use the word and particularly to have it appear on the bottom of your foot, the lowest part of the body is sacrilegious.  I guess.  I don’t see them complaining as the rest of the secular world seeks to eradicate the word God from every other facet of life.  Oh, but that’s because they are striving to eliminate the Judeo-Christian God, not their god.

I’m guessing that I am in violation of some type of religious infraction against Islam by merely copying and pasting the word allah into this blog.  No matter.  I’m not worried about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sarcastic Sentry Volume 1.4, Issue 1

Gonna take your ball and go home

Saints fans want the NFL Commissioner to invoke an obscure and never used rule to force the NFC Division game between the Saints and Rams to be played over.  They have sued in court to try to get a judge to order Goddell to do just that.

See, a referee in the game missed an obvious call of pass interference.  The penalty would have kept the drive going for the Saints who would have either scored a touchdown putting the game out of reach for the Rams, or would have burned up the clock before the Saints kicked a field goal, preventing the Rams from tying the game before winning in overtime.

Because a human missed a call, as has happened since football games began, some fans want a do-over.

If it is so ordered and the Saints win, do you really think the Ram fan will just roll over and accept the new outcome?  Really?  The Rams are in California—the very heart of all of these social upheavals.  No, the Rams will find a real or imagined blown call and demand the game be played a third time.

This is classic current-day American culture now.    I’ll accept no outcome until it is the one that I like.  There are no winners unless it is me.  There are no losers unless it is you.  But then, in today’s society, there are no losers; only participants.

Here’s the only real solution.  Make the Patriots play and beat both teams.  Then scrutinize the film until you find a secret handshake, an obscured wink between officials and players, or find a ball slightly deflated well after the game.  Then the Patriots can be stripped of the title.  Of course, you’ll have to award it to both the Saints and Rams.

We’re so screwed.

Sarcastic Sentry Version 12.3, Issue 2

Another illegal alien, another cop murdered.  Stopped for a traffic violation, the alien Gustavo Perez Arriaga decided (He wasn’t forced, folks.) to kill the police officer rather than risk the justice he was due.  See, it looks like he had other warrants out for his arrest for past crimes.  Seems crime was a way of life for him.  Officer Ronil Singh never stood a chance.  And this is why no police officer should ever be without a partner.

Arriaga was apprehended in Lamont, near Bakersfield, about 200 miles south of Newman, where the officer was slain. He had been on his way to his native Mexico

Later, authorities announced the arrests of Arriaga’s girlfriend, Ana Leyde Cervantes, 30, of Newman, and Arriaga’s brother, Conrado Virgen Mendoza, 34, of Chowchilla.

Also arrested was Arriaga’s other brother, Adrian Virgen, 25, and co-worker Erik Razo Quiroz, 27, accusing them of attempting to mislead investigators in the search for the suspect. They were arrested for being accessories after the fact to a felony. Wait for the kicker…both men also were in the country illegally.

Three others from Bakersfield were arrested. They were identified as Bernabe Madrigal Casteneda, 59; Ermasmo Villegas, 36; and Maria Luisa Moreno, 57, each charged on suspicion of aiding and abetting,

Officer Singh’s handcuffs were later used on the suspect, according to the sheriff.  They should have let Singh’s police dog bite the son of a bitch.

So, I’ll say only what the news article allows as a under the message hint.  This illegal alien, likely deported before, and wanted on other warrants shouldn’t have been in the country in the first place.  Not only that but his known accomplices are also all too willingly to break the law to assist the cop killer is eluding authorities.  There isn’t anyone in the arrested group named Johnny Smith, or Robert Jones, either.  They are all Hispanic and some of them ALSO are law breakers by being here illegally.

And the police in California, had Arriaga been already in jail, would not have been permitted to turn him over to Immigration Customs Enforcement (ICE). 

ICE should pull out of California entirely.  If they want to be a sanctuary state, you can.  You also get to deal with the crime such notoriety brings with it.  You can keep your federal funding since the Supreme Court says you can.  But ICE should not invest (read: risk) any more officers in apprehension, pursuit, or investigation of illegal aliens within their borders.  Once California as a state becomes like Juarez, it won’t be long before the law abiding and sane start fleeing eastward.  I wouldn’t be surprised if California enacts legislation to tax people and businesses who do so.

Take away the Paso Robles and Livermore region of wine country in that state, and I say let Mexico have it.

Sarcastic Sentry, Volume 12.3, Issue 1

Newsflash:  A judge has ruled that the school in Broward County, the spineless security officer, nor the police were responsible in the shooting deaths of kids (and what gave us that prick David Hogg).

Judge Rules Cops, School Had No Responsibility to Protect Students in Stoneman Douglas Shooting

This might come as a shock to many.  But your shock is misplaced.

The police as a general rule are NOT under any legal obligation to save your life during a criminal event.  They are there to largely investigate crime and hopefully as a deterrent to the crime occurring in the first place.  But once someone, say, breaks into your house, it matters not if the police station is miles away or yards away.  They do not have a legal obligation to save your life.  That is on you.  Hence, the catchy phrase about when seconds count, remember, the police are just minutes away.  And the picture with it is of a pistol.

Likewise, the school is not legally obligated to protect student’s lives.  Even though they are a government agency (since taxpayer funds keep schools churning out indoctrinated Liberals), unless the students are prisoners or mental patients, it isn’t their responsibility to keep them from harm in a “mass shooting”.

So about now, some of you are seeing contradiction in what I say when you look at security guards in banks.  But even there, the guard is there to protect the money not the bank’s customers.  He is a visual deterrent to the potential robber.  That some banks get robbed anyway goes a ways towards telling you how good a security guard he made.

No, sending your kids to public schools is at their own risk.  And they are forbidden to bring weapons to protect themselves.  Every day is running a gauntlet sanctioned by the state.  It is as if they are playing a lottery with your kids’ lives.

This is one reason so many parents who can, send their kids to private schools that have armed guards.  These guards are hired, trained, and armed specifically for the purpose of child safety.  No one ever shot up a school where the politicians send their kids, have they?

One thing I will concede.  My arguments above describe how these people and agencies are legally exonerated.  But there is a moral aspect.  The police are not legally bound to protect you.  So you can’t sue them in case a family member is killed.  But you’d be hard pressed to find an officer worth a shit who doesn’t feel morally obligated to save you.  One characteristic that sets police and Soldiers apart from the average citizen is that they run towards gunfire.

Scot (with one T) Peterson, and the Broward County School Board are just pussies.

Sarcastic Sentry, Volume 11.3, Issue 1

Millenials are such easy marks.

 

Modern day viewers of a classic cartoon were triggered by the recent airing of a Charlie Brown Thansgiving.  Originally aired in 1973, I’m sure creator Charles M. Schultz didn’t even consider the optics of the backyard scene.

The Peanuts gang is on one side of the table, seated in regular chairs.  Franklin, the token negro I suppose, is seated alone on the other side.  The gang sit in regular chairs while Franklin is relegated to sitting in a lawn chair.  This is CLEARLY racism, no matter how subtle.  It doesn’t matter that back then table furnishings didn’t HAVE six chairs, only four.  A closer look shows that the chair Linus sits in is a different color than those of the gang.  And the chair that Marcie sits in has a solid back as opposed to the spindle back chairs of the gang.  Is Marcie being snubbed for her nerdiness?

Comments tagged to the article ranged from sarcasm about the quantity of sugar-laced treats in front of Franklin being a sort of reparations to snowflakes affirming that their “wokeness” will keep them from watching the cartoon, yes CARTOON, ever again.

Triggered by a cartoon that is 45 years old.  Likely older than their own parents in many cases.  I can think of another group that are easily triggered by cartoons.  ISIS.  Just publish a Mohammed cartoon and watch the buildings burn.  But then, the triggered that go violent (Antifa) are a lot like ISIS.

While we’re at it, why don’t we ban reruns of I Dream of Jeanie?  After all, she is kept captive in a small vessel and forced to wear flimsy, revealing clothing to please a military man.

Beverly Hillbillies is all about shaming a family for their awkward “southern” awkwardness.  And making Ellie Mae wear those short shorts and depicting her as so naïve is clearly sexist.

I don’t remember seeing any black people in the Dennis the Menace show.  I guess they were all kept working in the cotton fields.

Hawkeye from M*A*S*H is a total womanizer.  Foisting himself on all those nurses—after getting them drunk on hooch in his hooch.  Why, he’s the original Harvey Weinstein.

See how slippery this slope is?  It’s a damn cartoon with an embedded wholesome message, if you stow your hyper-sensitive social justice warrior righteousness for a minute.  Get over yourselves and put away your hashtags.  Snowflakes.

 

https://comicbook.com/tv-shows/2018/11/22/charlie-brown-thanksgiving-racist-franklin-scene/

 

Sarcastic Sentry Volume 11.1, Issue 2

Nike.  Believe in profits.  Even if it means sacrificing your soul.

 

A few weeks back, Nike decided to put the face of the NFL National Anthem protests on their new marketing campaign.  It was a picture of the hapless and less than talented Colin Kaepernick with the caption, “Believe in something.  Even if it means sacrificing everything.”

The timing of the ad was bad as it was a scant week before the anniversary of the 9-11 attacks.  The uproar was instantaneous.  The NFL protests Kap started never has had the legs I think he hoped for.  Not nearly as many fellow (former) players joined in his protest as I think he hoped for or planned.  Sort of like the kid who invited 30 people to his birthday party and not one of them came.  They just aren’t that in to you.

The patriot sector of the country responded with a flurry of hilarious and fatally pointed memes that continues even today.  Memes of Elizabeth Warren—“Believe in something.  Even it is only .1024 percent true.”  Of Bruce/Caitlin Jenner—“Believe in something.  Even if it means cutting off your dick.”  Of Bernie Sanders—“Believe in something.  Even if it means sacrificing someone else’s everything.”  A Doberman—“Bark at everything. Even if something isn’t there.”

Then there were the serious ones.  Like Pat Tillman with the original slogan.  Of Robert Beaman with the original quote.  The serious people saw the ad as a direct affront to national pride and patriotism.  These do really did sacrifice everything for something they believed in.  No greater lover, and such.

I watched the stock.  I thought the marketing ad was a foolish thing.  Nike was going to tank.  People and investors would flee.  But I forgot that the dollar is more powerful than pride.  The stock dropped almost three dollars over the weekend.  The investors were dumping it.  But then by September 21, the stock had rebounded to higher than it was when the ad came out.  People with money sold high, not because of a sense of duty or outrage, but because they saw a money making opportunity.  The same people bought back in low.  Those people knew that the public, the cattle, have about a three day attention span.  They’ll forget.  They won’t care after the initial fervor is over.

Investors are savvy even if it means having no morals or values.  I think the whole thing might have just been market manipulation.  A means to an end.  Dollars over decency.  Profits over patriotism.

Idolizing a mediocre player who defames and disrespects the national anthem proves it.

Kap was not that great a quarterback.  He never had a QB rating in the 100s. His best year, he had, what, 5 wins?  After two flailing seasons, I think he saw the writing on the wall and decided he needed another venue to remain relevant.  Pissing off half the country is a good way to do that.

Whatever you think about his police injustice topic, be it true or not, disrespecting the flag is not the way to fix it.  The guy has millions of fans, however misguided they are.  He has a large following on Face Book of 1.2 million.  His Twitter account has over 2 million followers.  (Though how many are fake/robots is unknown.)  If he called for a press conference they would come.  He has exclusive media and social media attention.

This is the place to draw attention to your cause.  After kneeling during the anthem, what did he do?  Nothing.  No marches, no donations, no civil disobedience.  No fund raisers, no pressers.

Makes you wonder how important his cause is to him, no?