Sarcastic Sentry Volume 2.1, Issue 2

President Trump required emergency medical attention and psychological counseling following the first weekend of his Presidency.  Psychologists and Dermatologists were deployed to repair extensive cuticle damage on both hands caused from his excessive fretting and worrying about the thousands of women who marched in protest of his election.  The President reportedly chewed all of his fingernails down to the quick causing nearly uncontrolled bleeding.

The President then had several hours-long sessions with the newly appointed Presidential Shrink who, under the calming effects of hypnosis, eased the Trump’s mind about the rumor being tweeted–that if people protested for 100 straight days he would have to step down–was in fact folklore.  

–A funny, sarcastic, but likely true quip about the Women’s March came my way: 

Trump got more fat women walking in one day than Michelle Obama did in 8 years. 

Let’s analyze the basics here.  What good, to what productive end did that nationwide march do?  (Aside from the obvious cardiovascular benefits.)  So you marched for three or four hours.  What happened in the aftermath?  Is Trump not still President, or did I miss something and Hillary has moved in?  So you don’t like Trump.  Big deal.  Many people who voted for him ALSO don’t like him.  But they saw something worse in the alternative.  (That these two were the best our major parties put forward is fodder for another blog.)

So Trump has used vulgar language and said offensive, outlandish things.  Ordinarily, I would say something like “Show me a man who hasn’t said such things and I’ll show you a woman.”  Ordinarily. However, women often talk worse about their own kind than men do.  And ladies, if you would be honest with yourself and us, you know I’m right.

But you decided to walk, carry signs, wear silly pointy-eared pink hats, clog up cities streets and chant things like “Fuck Donald Trump.”  (As though this is somehow more socially acceptable compared to his heinous remarks.)  After you march, then what?  Are you going to do it again the next day?  And the next?  Are you going to lead fellow idiots to a 24/7 streaming camera screaming “He will not divide us!” like that moron Shia Lebouf?  What was the result of your march?  Nothing after the two minutes of air time on the evening news.  Nobody marched in Denver the next day that I saw.

No, if you want change, walking, pouting, damaging business store fronts, getting arrested, stop public transit, etc., is not going to change anything.  You have to commit to more than feel-good strolls and semi-sexist slogans.

As an aside, I saw two signs that merit discussion.

  1. This pussy grabs back.  The verbiage carries several connotations which are probably not the reaction you seek.  If someone grabs you, will you grab back?  All that does is reciprocate sexual contact with the same.  Probably not your intent.  The other conjures up fantasies about the qualities of that sexual contact.  Also probably not your intent.  While catchy, you invite the very harassment you accuse the President of.
  2. I refuse to accept what I do not respect.  This sign carries thinly veiled threats of physical violence.  You won’t accept Trump.  Got it.  But marching isn’t going to make him go away.  What is next?  Violence?  Are you going to go all Madonna and act on her contemplations of blowing up the White House?  Trump wouldn’t be the only casualty, of course.  But is it guilt by association with you?

Sorry, if you want change you have to do more.  You have to do something to change the hands that hold the reins of power.  Oh wait, that just happened, you don’t like it, and are currently part-way through your tantrum.  How about this?  Get elected yourself.  Write a piece of legislation and get it passed rather than lobbying the courts to get what you want.

But you’re a liberal, so doing actual substantive work is antithetical to you.  So you’ll probably just keep marching your feel good marches, and bitching, thinking you’ve done your part and that the rest of us are evil or stupid they don’t view the world through the same closed-minded straw you do.  Spring is coming Snowflake.  You’re going to melt.