Not content with the flimsy and noncommittal “gender fluid” naming convention, many uber-liberal parents have begun naming their children (offspring?) (spawn?) after various chemicals.  Some have even begun stringing various letters and number together creating monikers virtually impossible to pronoun.

 The phenomenon began with parents, who despite the DNA and obvious sex of their child (based on physical genitalia), began giving offspring names that masked masculinity or femininity.  Names like Skylar, Justice, Riley, and others began climbing the charts of popularity tracked by such organizations as the Social Security Agency, and quite contradictorily, Planned Parenthood.

 These parents often eschew traditional and especially religious names, breaking generational norms such as naming sons after fathers or grandfathers.  Soon to be gone are the Juniors and (name) III.  Instead these spousal units (since “mother and father” are shunned in aggressively progressive countries like Canada) have decided that the child should be free to decide their own gender based on societal inputs and personal impulses rather than norms.

 The first phase of this new naming convention quickly yielded to using precious metals like Gold and Platinum.  However, following the murder of a child named Diamond by the sibling Cubic Zirconium, the parents were each punished for their negligence of slighting one child with a name the other with something obviously of lower intrinsic worth than the other.  The mineral Mica was almost immediately banished based on it sounding like Micah, a purely masculine name and also being a prophet in the Bible.  Any hint of religiosity, especially that of the Christian faith is expressing forbidden.  Given that Micah was likely Jewish was even more of a curse.

Numbers and letters followed in suit, but were quickly ruled out as by their very nature, these names imply order, hierarchy, and thus rank.  As A is before B in the alphabet.  Does that mean that A is superior to B?  Even if B was born first?  Indeed, like the character 7 of 9 from Star Trek fame, numbers quickly lost favor due to the connotation of mathematical value.  Indeed, the differences of odd versus even numbers, ordinal and prime numbers proved too exclusionary

Thus, randomness has become the “order” of the day.  In fact, lottery style name generators have become a boon business in hospitals providing such names as B67F4HJ0, like the VIN of an automobile.

 Mohamed is still quite popular and cherished since it is Islamic despite the prophet Mohamed being a child pedophile and rapist.  Any celebration of child sexual assault and/or pornography is celebrated and encouraged to aid the child in being free to select their gender for any particular phase of life.  The child does not have gender foisted on them by society.  They are free to choose over and again based on how they feel any given day.