Sarcastic Sentry Volume 3.4, Issue 3

Sloan’s Slaughter Part one

Tim Sloan resigned as CEO of Wells Fargo Bank. Senator Elizabeth “Pochohantas” Warren, hypocrite and bigoted Democratic 2020 Presidential candidate tweeted “About damn time.”

Wells Fargo has had a rough 3 years and deservedly so. Opening factitious accounts in people’s name is a criminal act. It is called fraud. Keep those four words in mind.

Warren is not happy with just Sloan’s resignation. She wants another pound of flesh.

“By the way, getting fired shouldn’t be the end of the story for Tim Sloan. (He resigned, you idiot.) He should be investigated by the SEC and DOJ. If he is guilty of any crimes, he should be put in jail like anyone else”, Warren tweeted.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.foxnews.com/politics/elizabeth-warren-on-wells-fargo-ceos-resignation-about-dam-time.amp

Indeed, fraud is a crime and should be punished. Sort of like, I don’t know, fraudulently getting your kid accepted into an Ivy League school by forging their credentials or bribing an admissions consultant. Or like telling a college you are Native American to gain employment, promotions, tenure, and high salaries, while spring boarding a false narrative into becoming a Senator, when you aren’t a measurable shred Indian.

As I grew up, my father told me I was part Irish and part Cherokee. He believed a great grandmother was part Cherokee. Since we could tell self-deprecating ethnic jokes back then, I used to say to people that the combination only meant I could sneak up on you and start a bar fight.

Then I joined Ancestry.com and had my saliva tested for regional ethnicity. I learned my Native American heritage is zero. Not one drop of (fire water) blood flows through my veins. So much for a good joke.

But during that time, I never once attempted to leverage it into gainful employment, perks, or privilege. There is that old saying about people living in glass houses. But that is too mild and tame for the Senator Squaw. Chickens coming hoe to roost doesn’t quite nail it either. When I said hypocritical bigot before, we’re getting warm.

No, Warren embodies the elitist worst of all our politicians. Do as I say, not as I do. 8 words, all mono-syballic, but they encapsulate her perfectly. Her ideology makes her better than you. She HAD to lie about her heritage to get where she is. But she did it to make life better for you! It wasn’t a selfish act. She was sacrificing to get to where she could dictate to you how to live your life. How very kind of her.

But I’ll pass. Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem.