I get pissed off probably everyday at the way some people drive. I mean, seriously. How can some of these people not be dead by now driving they way they do? If they haven’t crashed into an embankment by now, you’d think some people would have road raged them.
If you sit at a green light after it changed from red and more than two cars on either (or both) sides of you go without you hitting the gas, you are either apathetic in which case you shouldn’t be driving, or you are distracted, in which case you shouldn’t be driving. In both cases, since you are, you’re an asshole.
If you change lanes in the middle of the intersection, you are breaking the law. You are also an asshole.
If you wait until the last 200 feet or so to decide you need to be in the far left lane from the far right lane, you’re an asshole.
If you speed up to keep me from pulling out, then slow down so that I can’t get around you, you’re an asshole. 7/2/15–Mercedes 300SE, CO PAI9933; Parker and Monaco.
If you move over into the far right lane so that you can be first in line at a red light, blocking others from turning right on red, you’re an asshole. 5/28/14: White Ford Ranger, CO 519 FAZ. 6/29/15–Ford E250 Van, CO843VQJ; Smoky Hill & Chambers.
If you insist on driving below the speed limit in the fast lane, you’re an asshole. 7/10/15: White Toyota Tundra (L&B Heating & Cooling), CO 729UUQ–Hampden Avenue.
If you speed up to pass me (on the right), then pull over into my land and slow down, you’re an asshole. 7/2/15–Red Ford Taurus, CO754TMY; Parker & Havana.
If you are watching a God damned movie on your phone while driving, you’re an asshole.
If you are on a crotch rocket motorcycle and weave in and out of traffic or drive down the dotted line while cars are stopped, you’re an asshole.
If you don’t flash drivers coming your way to warn them of a speed trap, you’re either a cop or an asshole. You could be an asshole cop.
If you park in a handicap spot, and put the placard up on your mirror from the glove box and have no visible handicap, you’re an asshole.
I wonder why I drive at all. The world has so many assholes in it. And they seem to live in Denver.