Sarcastic Sentry Volum 5.5, Issue 2

A Republican Governor, weary that his draconian stay-at-home orders are not being blindly followed, upgraded his arrest first, to shoot-on-sight decree if protestors continued to resist. Additionally, family members of resisters are to be locked up for reeducation. Neighbors of resisters are to be digitally monitored, forced to surrender cell phone records, computer hard drives, website histories, social media passwords and be fitted with a GPS equipped ankle bracelet.

“It is past time to take off the sissy gloves on these rebel cretins. I’ve determined the best course of action for my state’s recovery. Me. It is not up for discussion or a vote. These sheep will follow my orders or pay serious, painful penalties.”

Sounds crazy, right? Well, it is fiction. No Republican would consider that. However, let’s look at a few Democrat examples.

Washington: Governor Jay Inslee ordered that people that go out to a restaurant being tracked by name in a data base.

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2020/may/13/jay-inslee-washington-governor-orders-restaurants-/

People going to dine in must give their name and phone number to be turned out to the government. The data will be kept for 30 days (I’m sure). The purpose is for contact tracing in case of another flare up.

Of course. That’s the only reason. It wouldn’t be to know “who’s naughty and who’s nice.”

Pennsylvania: Governor Tom Wolf threatened to withhold federal COVID-19 aid money to counties that defy his decree and open early.

https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/497189-pennsylvania-governor-threatens-to-withhold-federal-aid-to-counties-that

See, Tom knows better than you do what with his advanced medical degrees in micro virus sciences, that staying at home and being economically stagnant is the best way to stay alive.

“I won’t sit back and watch residents who live in counties under Stay at Home orders get sick because local leaders cannot see the risks of #COVID19 and push to reopen prematurely,” he tweeted.

Local leaders just can’t see the risks of what they are doing. They just don’t see that he is the omnipotent wise one. Just do what he says and please, shut up while doing it.

“Non-compliant counties won’t be eligible for federal stimulus discretionary funds. Instead, those funds will be allocated to counties working to stop the spread of #COVID19,” he continued, adding: “Dine-in restaurants that open in counties that have not been authorized to reopen will risk receiving a citation. These citations can ultimately lead to the loss of a restaurant’s liquor license.”

My friends, the ones who do as I say, will get money. More of it, too, since I’ll give away the money from the counties that disobey me. Oh, and even though you don’t have any money since you’ve been out of work for 60 days, if you disobey me, I will fine you cash that you don’t have. I’ll also take away your liquor license so that if I ever allow you to reopen, you can’t sell booze, the primary money maker in the food and dining business,

Folks, that is extortion. Joe Biden “you’re not getting the billion dollars unless you fire the prosecutor looking into my son” kind of extortion.

Illinois: Governor JB Spitzer announced that when private leisure boating opens back up only two people may be on the boat.

https://www.nwherald.com/2020/04/25/hoping-to-take-the-family-for-a-boat-ride-not-so-fast/an8u0x4/

Regardless of boat size, only two people can be on the boat at a time. So, a family or 4 has to pick. Two can ride, two have to stay on shore and wait their turn. What a great idea. Especially if the husband took the wife out. The two kiddies can wait by themselves on the pier and hope no one does anything to them.

Anchored boats must be ten feet apart. I guess boats are potentially more contagious than people who only have to be six feet apart. Despite the family sheltering in place together they cannot go out on a boat in the open air together.

Tying up two boats along side is also out if you were thinking of trying that in order to get around his two-to-a-boat rule.

Michigan: What more can be said about that bitch?

Meanwhile in Florida, Governor Rick DeSantis is slowly opening up and despite having such a massive elderly population shows no one near the levels of New York as they set about killing 5200 nursery home residents.

The Democrats are loving the increased power they think they have over their herd. They are in no hurry to open up, or set people back to work. That reduces their power over the masses. They also believe the longer they can keep their boot on the throat of the flock, maybe they can convince them that it is all Trump’s fault.

Sarcastic Sentry Volume 5.5, Issue 1

Sorry, the hyperlinks didn’t copy over.

Michael Savage wrote a book titled, Leftism is a Mental Disorder (ISBN 1-59555-006-2). He wrote it in 2005. I doubt even he realized how bad the patient would get if left untreated. Because care wasn’t sought or applied back then, we have examples such as these:

1. Orange Man bad, no matter what
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/michigan-democrat-facing-censure-for-thank-you-to-trump-should-join-gop-president-says

Michigan Representative Karen Whittsett (D) contracted Covid-19. Out of desperation, and in consult with her physician, she took Hydroxychloroquin. It is typically an anti-malarial drug but showed some success in treating some symptoms of Covid. It worked. For her. In her case. For that, she publicly thanked President Trump as he had some connection to the drug’s availability and public awareness. Whittsett said the drug, “saved my life.”

Because she thanked the administration she faces official party censure. Yes, showing gratitude to the Orange Man is bad. Do so at your own political and career peril. She was subsequently invited to switch parties. It remains to be seen if she will.

2. Never mind the deaths, this may hurt Trump
https://www.foxnews.com/media/msnbcs-nicolle-wallace-suggests-silver-lining-of-coronavirus-outbreak-is-itll-hurt-trump

April 23. Nicolle Wallace, an air-head reporter for MSNBC actually stated that despite the carnage Covid-19 is wreaking on lives of people worldwide, despite the economic upheaval and devastation it is causing (mostly from political over reach of liberal governors), that she sees a silver lining because it might damage Trump in the election.

“There is something both tragic, and pathetic, and ironic about the fact that it took a, you know, color-blind, gender-blind, you know, state-line-blind virus to sort of have all of the president’s sins from his first three years catch up with him.”

“I mean, he needs those people whether he likes what they say or not and I wonder what you think about whether or not there’s some silver lining there, that some of the things that, that we’ve been talking about for three years may be finally catching up with him?”

Her guest, Ron Klain, B. Hussein’s Ebola Czar touted his dear leader’s honesty with the American people during an Ebola crisis. He failed to mention the SARS fiasco that Obama ignored until thousands were dead here.

So let me extrapolate here. If Wallace had Covid-19 herself, lying in bed, gasping on a ventilator despite the knives and swords taking in breath would feel like. If she was sweating out her life fluids on sheets that would be burned with her corpse for fear of contamination, if she was waiting for death to welcome her because it was agony to merely blink, do you suppose she would accept all that suffering because it might hurt Trump in the 2020 election cycle?

Or is it just that her Trump Derangement Syndrome is so much in control, that she finds some unholy and obscene justification to minimize the suffering of others just to further her demented ideology? She’s a craven bitch, is all.

3. Quarantine violator Chris Cuomo bashes VP Pence
https://www.foxnews.com/media/cnn-chris-cuomo-mike-pence

April 28. CNN “anchor” Chris Cuomo (he is a cause of their ratings drop, after all) called out Vice President Mike Pence for not wearing a mask when he visited patients at the Mayo Clinic today. This is the same Chris Cuomo who after declaring that he and his wife contracted the disease, broke quarantine over Easter weekend. Rather than stay inside as his Governor brother and Covid-19 Czar Andrew Cuomo decreed for all the little people in New York, he went outside and was playing with his kids. A resident saw him and asked him if he didn’t think he should be indoors instead of in public.

“He said, ‘Who the hell are you?! I can do what I want!’ He just ranted, screaming, ‘I’ll find out who you are!’” David recalled. “I said to him, ‘Your brother is the coronavirus czar, and you’re not even following his rules — unnecessary travel.'”
David alleged, “He said, ‘This is not the end of this. You’ll deal with this later. We will meet again.’ If that’s not a threat, I don’t know what is.”
The clip shows Cuomo with that typical berating eyebrows raised, eyes opening wider for dramatic emphasis, and using Kennedyesque finger pointing to accentuate the obvious righteousness of what he says.
Trump is right about this one. Fredo fits.

4. Chuck You Schumer has too much time on his hands
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2020/04/27/politics/schumer-bill-trump-name-checks/index.html

Citizens across the country are receiving personal stimulus checks for (typically) $1200. I used mine to pay off the credit card I used to buy ammunition to stock pile for when my state government decides to reel me in. But Chuck You Schumer proposed legislation to halt the printing of the paper checks for a bit so that President Trump’s signature could be removed from them.

Chucky is upset claiming that Trump is using the virus and the subsequent stimulus as a PR stunt to further his name. He claimed it needlessly slowed down the payment process when people were starving and going default waiting on their measly stipend. I don’t know about you, but $1200, while nice to receive, doesn’t do a whole lot in the grand picture of my financial world. I had to wait longer because I didn’t know that by having to pay taxes last year, the check wasn’t just going to come to me. I had to direct it to my bank.

“Delaying the release of stimulus checks so his signature could be added is a waste of time and money.”

Never mind that the IRS refuted Schumer’s remarks. The Internal Revenue Service, however, insisted that the move will not result in a delay. Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin later said that it was his idea, not the President’s, to include Trump’s name.

Hey Chuck! How about you get Comrade de Blasio to stop killing people with his backward and totally reversed logic remarks about social distancing, and stop splitting the hairs of a bald man?

5. New Jersey college professor says all Covid deaths are the fault of Trump supporters
https://www.foxnews.com/us/new-jersey-professor-assigns-blame-for-coronavirus-outbreak-f-each-and-every-trump-supporter

A New Jersey professor (by locale almost certainly makes her Democrat) has come out and baldly stated that Trump and his supporters are responsible for every Covid-19 death.

A professor at a New Jersey university doubled down Thursday, saying she’s tenured, after blaming President Trump and his supporters for the impact of the coronavirus outbreak, claiming it’s their fault African-Americans have been dying at a disproportionate rate.

“F— each and every Trump supporter. You absolutely did this. You are to blame,” were among the comments – several of them containing profanity – posted on Twitter this week by Brittney Cooper, an associate professor in the Department of Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies at Rutgers University.

“I said what I meant. And I curse cuz I’m grown,” she wrote in part in a series of tweets Thursday, adding, “I have tenure. Rutgers won’t be firing me for tweets.”

Yes, that is a Rutgers professor using slang to make her point. I almost expected silly emojis. Because intellects and people wanting to be taken seriously do these things.

But seriously, she is blaming Trump and his supporters for the underlying conditions spelled out by the medical experts that plague people of her race and excessive girth.

Last week, Dr. Anthony Fauci, a member of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, said during an online interview that high coronavirus death rates among African-Americans were largely attributable to pre-existing health conditions that are common in the black community, such as hypertension, obesity, diabetes and asthma.

She doubled down saying, “They are literally willing to die from this clusterf—ed COVID response rather than admit absolutely anybody other than him [Trump] would have been a better president,”

I see. So, if Hillary had won the election, all black people would already be thin, calm, have regular blood sugar levels, and clean airways. Never mind that she is also white. She just isn’t Trump.

And this woman teaches your children. Granted she is teaching the one’s with no professional goals or clear abilities as she is teaching Women’s Sexual, and Gender studies. I used to work down in town. I never saw many Women’s Study firms among all the high rise buildings.

6. Reporter calls for a coup

https://www.foxnews.com/media/new-yorker-journalist-hendrik-hertzberg-military-coup-trump

Liberal journalist Hendrik Hertzberg courted controversy Sunday by bashing President Trump and openly questioning in a tweet: “Time for a military coup?”

Hertzberg, was a conscientious objector during the Vietnam War and later served as then-President Jimmy Carter’s chief White House speechwriter.

Isn’t it grand how someone who refused to take up arms in defenseof his own nation now wants that same military to take up arms against their duly elected Commander-in-Chief?

When slammed by others, Hertzberg claimed he was being sarcastic. Of course. Sorry, dickhead. Sarcasm is here on this page. Not your weak attempt at deflection.

7. Governor Newsome releases sex offenders
https://www.foxnews.com/us/california-governor-orders-release-high-level-sex-offenders

Likely the most sick and disgusting act of a Democrat Governor, California’s own Gavin Newsome allowed the release 7 high level sex offenders out of jail over the pssible threat of their contracting Covid-19 while incarcerated.

The convicted had previously all tried to tamper with their GPS monitoring devices to escape detection and monitoring. Usually the intent here is to commit more crime, not because they don’t want people to know they became a born-again Christian in jail. They aren’t hiding from alimony seeking ex-wives.

Meanwhile Newsome ordered the public beaches closed and vowed to have police arrest anyone violating the closure. So, go sun bathing and you go to jail. Rape a kid, and you go free. What if the beach goers all were nude, committing a public indecency crime? Would they be allowed to go free?

As if on cue, one of the released, Rudy William Grajeda Magdaleno, 39, was arrested Thursday after allegedly exposing himself at a parole resource center and failing to charge his GPS monitor. He left jail on April 13 after serving 71 days of the 180-day minimum sentence.
Magdaleno’s criminal history includes child molestation, indecent exposure, assault, battery, criminal threats and inflicting injury on an elder adult, according to the District Attorney’s Office. Prosecutors say he had violated parole five times since 2017.


This scum gets a pass to go violate more kids and elderly. You, you have to stay home and shut up.

The Democrats are loving this disease. Russia didn’t work. Impeachment didn’t work. This is their last chance and they bet the farm on it.

Savage said that leftism is a mental disorder. Too bad it isn’t also a Covid-19 comorbidity.