The political world was on pins and needles today after it was reported that Joe Biden had died in a flash fire on a comedy stage In Newark, New Jersey last night. The liberal elite were relieved to learn that “Walter”, the ventriloquist dummy creation of Jeff Dunham and frequently used body and intellect double of Biden was the real victim.
Walter was the only victim to succumb in the blaze. Early investigative reports revealed that like Biden, Walter had issued a push up challenge to liberal “movie” documentary “artist” Michael Moore as well as socialist mouthpiece and all around idiot AOC.
Through the mechanics of strings, hinges, pulleys, and weight-leveraging, Walter did 7 push ups before his elbow hinge blew out. AOC was unable to do a single push up before her spindly, spaghetti arms snapped like toothpicks and splintered, crashing her no-carb eating carcass but massive ego to the stage, likely weakening it. Moore was finishing his third push up when his massive girth caused him to slam onto the vintage 19th century-built stage crashing through it and sparking an electrical fire among the brittle aluminum wiring coursing beneath the stage.
But seriously.
This week alone Biden announced that some of the Dreamer kids (here illegally because their parents brought them “through no fault of their own”) are actually more American than citizen American children simply because they get better grades in school. Really.
If they are studying Common Core, I can believe it. Maybe that’s why Governor DeSantis just rolled that curriculum back in Florida. There, they are going back to the three Rs. If you don’t know what that is, then Common Core is where you belong.
Also this week, Biden stated flat out that he, if elected, would personally fire any and all ICE agents who deport any illegal alien simply because of a drunk driving arrest. No, really.
https://dailycaller.com/2020/01/21/joe-biden-ice-deport-illegal-aliens-drunk-driving/
and
https://www.foxnews.com/media/tom-homan-joe-biden-illegal-immigrant-drunk-drivers
Former Vice President Joe Biden said Monday that he would not allow Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents to deport illegal aliens who get caught drunk driving.
Biden said during a 2020 election forum with Vice News that if he wins the presidency he will issue an executive order that only allows ICE agents to deport individuals who have committed felonies — “and I don’t consider drunk driving a felony,” Biden clarified.
“They go off to school wondering whether their mom comes and picks them up, is she not going to be there because an ICE agent was there to arrest her,” Biden told Vice News on Monday.
“You change the culture by saying, ‘you’re gonna get fired.’ ‘You’re fired,’ if in fact you do that,” the Democratic presidential candidate explained. “You only arrest for the purpose of dealing with a felony that’s committed, and I don’t consider drunk driving as a felony.”
There are so many things to talk about here. First, let’s ask the elephant in the room question. So Mom is going to pick the kids up from school drunk? Around my house, kids are getting out of school around 3 in the afternoon. Now I like a good day drinking session as much as the next guy. But I wouldn’t do it if I had to pick little Johnny and Suzie up at school.
You’d think that after Biden repeatedly told the story of how his first wife died in a car crash that allegedly involved a drunk driver, his view would be a little more stringent. Except, it is a lie. Biden just likes to tell the store that way. The driver involved was never charged with drunk driving. Biden made it all up. No, really.
The New York Times reported the 2007 crowd at the University of Iowa grew silent as Biden gave his version of what happened that day.
“Let me tell you a little story,” The newspaper quoted Biden as saying. “I got elected when I was 29, and I got elected November the 7th. And on Dec. 18 of that year, my wife and three kids were Christmas shopping for a Christmas tree. A tractor-trailer, a guy who allegedly — and I never pursued it — drank his lunch instead of eating his lunch, broadsided my family and killed my wife instantly, and killed my daughter instantly, and hospitalized my two sons, with what were thought to be at the time permanent, fundamental injuries.”
Biden told a similar story when addressing an audience at the Bob Carpenter Center at the University of Delaware a few days after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
“It was an errant driver who stopped to drink instead of drive and hit a tractor-trailer, hit my children and my wife and killed them,” Biden said, according to a transcript archived on his Senate Web site.
So, maybe because he hasn’t suffered like he says he has, he has a soft spot for leniency for DUI offenders. But if true, why wouldn’t he pursue it? That was his wife, after all.
But is DUI a felony? In many cases the first offense is classified as a misdemeanor. Repeat offenses can become felonies. Many states have upgraded their laws concerning the level of severity making more DUI charges apply as felonies. Here’s a few instances where DUI is considered a felony.
The following types of acts may be classified under felony drunk driving laws in most states:
Drunk driving that causes death or severe injury to another person
Vehicular manslaughter (unintentional killing of another person with the vehicle)
Assault with a deadly weapon (the car is considered the deadly weapon)
Repeat offenses- a third DUI offense is usually a felony
Driving with a restricted, revoked, or suspended license
Driving with severely elevated blood alcohol concentration (usually at 0.16%)
Having children in the vehicle while driving drunk
So, Biden’s little example about kids worrying if Mom is going to pick them up holds a lot less fire water. His example, as he told it, ACTUALLY IS a felony in most states.
But since he is all in favor of allowing illegal aliens to stay here, get drivers licenses, free college, free health care already, what difference does it make if he ignores another state or federal laws?
Joe Biden is a buffoon, an idiot. But I want him to stay in the race longer. He makes for good material